Memo from your child
Dear Mum and Dad,
Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I shouldn’t have all that I ask for. I’m only testing you.
Don’t correct me in front of people if you can help it. I’ll take more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.
Don’t ridicule me or imply that my inappropriate behaviour means that I am bad. It erodes my sense of worthiness. Don’t be too upset when I say “I hate you”. It isn’t you I hate but your power over me.
Don’t take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention I need.
Don’t nag. If you do I shall have to protect myself by appearing to be deaf.
Don’t bribe me or make rash promises. Remember that I feel badly let down when promises are broken.
Don’t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.
Don’t tell me my fears are silly. They’re terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.
Don’t ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologise to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm towards you.
Don’t compare me to anyone else. Like me for what I am.
Don’t forget that I can’t thrive without a lot of understanding and love…….But I don’t need to tell you, do I ?
P.S. I love you